The Burns Supper – Ultimate Fun
by Clark McGinn
There's nothing quite like the Burns Supper in the world . . . round about 25th January every year, Scots men and women, alumni of Scottish schools and universities, employees and clients of Scottish businesses, lovers or descendents of Scots all gather to celebrate the birthday of our national poet, Robert Burns.
It is in both senses of the word a popular celebration, which started spontaneously a couple of years after Burns's early death and has been maintained as a voluntary custom ever since. In fact, it has grown over two centuries and is now Scotland's greatest party bar none (and I mean 'bar'!) with probably more people joining in this January than there were alive in Scotland in Burns's day!
Do you want to come to the party?
Everyone is welcome – that's really the message throughout Burns's poems and songs
Here's a bottle and an honest friend!
What wad ye wish for mair man?
But sometimes it looks a bit odd from the outside, which can be intimidating. Whether you are a guest or hosting your own Burns Supper, it is important to remember that it is a living party, not a fossilised ceremony. Good company and good cheer were watchwords for our Rabbie, so I want to introduce you to some of the elements that you will probably find at a Burns Supper – but my real message is that you can do whatever you want. From the very first Burns Supper the only essential ingredients are:
- A Haggis
- A Toast to Robert Burns
- One of his songs or poems
Everything else is down to your budget, personal choice and conscience!
Run that sheep's stomach bit past me again?
There cannot be a dish so famously reviled as our national fare: the haggis. And unjustly so – it is a delicious blend of sheep meat and oatmeal, sharply spiced with cayenne pepper. In the interests of fair disclosure, I admit that 'sheep meat' is a fairly elastic term, as haggis does contain rather more of the sheep than you'll see on the supermarket shelves! Try a plate of this oaty sausage with 'champit tatties' (mashed potatoes) and 'bashit neeps' (mashed Swedes or turnips) and you'll have a warming winter dinner that can't be beaten (on taste or price!).
Over recent years, Scotland has emerged from a culinary dark age where the only safe thing to eat was a deep fried Mars Bar. The Burns Supper is a great chance to showcase our excellent local produce in menus which appeal to modern taste. So you won't have to rely on the haggis as your only sustenance.
Again, it's your choice what to eat – but a typical menu might be:
- A good warming soup (usually with an odd name – Cock-a-leekie or Cullen Skink);
- A small plate of haggis, neeps and tatties;
- A main course of Scottish salmon or Aberdeen Angus beef;
- Rounded off with a Scotch Trifle.
So what's entertaining?
Burns wrote a very funny poem about Scotland's simple food: 'The Address To A Haggis' was written for a friend and his wife who were so poor they dined on haggis but shared their simple meal with the poet. He repaid this kindness with this wonderful mock-heroic (and tongue-in-cheek) poem extolling the chieftain of all sausages whose nourishment gives oomph to the ordinary Scots guys (on the battlefield or the football pitch).
And one of the three obligatory parts of the Supper is the tradition around this poem. You will see a redoubtably sized haggis on a mighty silver platter, carried in procession through the assembled diners to the stirring sound of the bagpipes, and laid in front of one of the performers in full view of the company.
Most people (even Scots) probably won't understand all the words on the first run through, but many performers now act out the words with appropriate and funny gestures to give you a good hint. The most important point is when the Addressor gets to the line:
'His knife, see rustic labour dicht
An' cut ye up wi' ready slight'
He takes a huge knife, wipes it on his sleeve to clean it and then skewers the haggis, splitting it open to reveal a steaming mass of dinner! The poem ends on a high note, calling on the Heavenly Powers to give Scotland the food she loves – the haggis of course! This calls for a toast in whisky all round and applause as the haggis is marched off to the kitchen to be served.
Once when travelling through JFK airport I was stopped by the immigration officer who asked why was I coming to New York?
I thought about telling the whole truth: "Sir, I am going to get dressed in a skirt, stand up in front of 600 people, talk to a very large sausage and then hack it up into a million bits." On second thoughts, "business" seemed the safer answer.
So is there a boring bit?
The second mandatory part of the celebration is the toast to our Poet – whose short life (he died not even 38 years old) was full of poetic genius and controversy (he is famed for his loves – with at least thirteen children between five mothers – and his enjoyment of good company in a life of hard toil and financial insecurity).
There is a traditional school of thought that expects an Immortal Memory speech to be as long as a brimstone sermon in the Kirk, but I believe in matching the speech to the audience. Many would prefer 15 minutes of jokes about golf and whisky (both mentioned in RB's poems!) bound up with some observations on his life, while a different audience would like a detailed thesis on one aspect of the great man's life and works. Both are right! Do what you and your guests enjoy.
Celebrating genius
The life blood of it all is the poems and songs – an extraordinary outpouring of talent which is performed across the globe. At a big Supper, there will be recitations from the famous works: Holy Willie's Prayer or Tam O'Shanter and music from singers and fiddlers - even a bit of communal singing – for Burns's 'Auld Lang Syne' is, after all, the most sung song in the whole world! (It's also probably the most wrongly sung song in the world – but that's another article!)
Burns's poetry reaches into what it means to be human – his laughter, his sorrow, his loves, his despairs, his politics, his religion are caught in the clear crystal of his vital words, inspiring us all in the equality and dignity of all humankind.
This is fun – let's do more!
Over and above the three essentials (the haggis, the toast and the poems) you'll see other sideshows at a big Burns Supper. Most have a toast 'To the Lassies' and a reply – a pair of short, funny speeches where a man toasts the assembled ladies (usually venturing on some dangerous ground about female foibles) followed by one of the women who deftly and wittily cuts him back down to size!
You might see dancing displays (or have the chance to join in yourself), other toasts, whisky tastings, theatrical recitations of the great poems, all these different ways to capture the true genius of one of Scotland's greatest people.
Can I do this at home?
It's not often I give advice to folk about what to do behind closed doors – but you certainly can have fun in organising your own Burns supper. Here are ten steps to a great night for anything from four to forty folk:
- Welcome your guests with a glass of Speyside malt whisky;
- Say Grace before enjoying a starter of Scottish smoked salmon with a crisp white wine;
- Address the Haggis (feel free to read to it – don't be shy!) and try it with mashed potatoes and turnips (and a wee bit more of that malt if there's any left!);
- Serve a simple main course of Scottish steak with chips and peas, washed down by a nice ordinary Claret;
- Round it off with a rich Scotch Trifle or some fine Scottish Cheeses;
- Get a friend to speak for a few light hearted minutes and then lead everyone in toasting 'The Immortal Memory of Robert Burns';
- Choose a poem (try 'To a Mouse') and pass the book round the guests with everyone reading one verse;
- Enjoy the fellowship of your friends around the table;
- Sing 'Auld Lang Syne' with a stiff glass of Islay malt as a nightcap!
- Do it again next year!
Come and join in! Don't forget that Burns loved a party, so we owe it to him to make it a good one. The Burns Supper is as much fun as you can have with your clothes on (and if you're wearing the kilt, lads, that may be fewer clothes than you're used to!).
Join in one of the great gifts Scotland has given the world: celebrate our national poets and, of course, have a great party!
Clark McGinn is a banker by trade and he now lives in London. He has spoken at Burns Suppers for years and 2007 will see him perform the Immortal Memory in London, Stockholm, Luxembourg, Chicago, Houston, Washington DC, Belvoir Castle and Harrow-on-the Hill. His book: 'The Ultimate Burns Supper Book' has just been published by Luath Press at £7.99/$14.95.
© Clark McGinn, 31st December, 2006
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